Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
