if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
