she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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