soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
