At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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