I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
