I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
