so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
