Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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