I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize