I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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