Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
