Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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