You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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