oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
