why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
