My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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