How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
