You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
