i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
