He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
