I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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