do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
