can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
