4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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