There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
