Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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