I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
