my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
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