Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize