Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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