This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
