Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
