If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
