you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
