this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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