1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I stole a fireplace last night.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
