i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
