Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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