why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
