69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
