did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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