eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
and i looked up. we had an audience...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
