my mouth tastes like poor choices
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
