from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
