so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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