at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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