Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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