Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
