I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
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It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize