Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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