you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
