i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
