So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
