Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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