boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
