***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
