You smell like stripper and shame
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
