I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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