The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.