the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
