Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.

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  (678): Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol. http://tfl.nu/nnbo
  Replies (7) Good night (1199) Bad night (2290)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him

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  (954): my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him http://tfl.nu/k9ng
  Replies (28) Good night (4947) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.

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  (917): Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit. http://tfl.nu/4xb1
  Replies (9) Good night (4840) Bad night (1335)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one

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  (239): just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one http://tfl.nu/sg9e
  Replies (18) Good night (7709) Bad night (1654)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently

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  (919): Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently http://tfl.nu/zenu
  Replies (21) Good night (4158) Bad night (1022)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside

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  (703): still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside http://tfl.nu/23it
  Replies (8) Good night (1104) Bad night (3248)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.

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  (434): Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other. http://tfl.nu/93c9
  Replies (7) Good night (3526) Bad night (1230)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Sidenote...no idea how to salsa

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  (502): Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing (502): Sidenote...no idea how to salsa http://tfl.nu/2bal
  Replies (2) Good night (1689) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time

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  (617): Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time http://tfl.nu/k7i2
  Replies (5) Good night (1251) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.

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  (952): I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me. http://tfl.nu/5m33
  Replies (1) Good night (1297) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr

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  (505): This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr http://tfl.nu/vuni
  Replies (11) Good night (601) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad

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  (513): Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad http://tfl.nu/ehr3
  Replies (8) Good night (1117) Bad night (2240)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.

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  (510): Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation. http://tfl.nu/xoud
  Replies (2) Good night (871) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.

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  (215): your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed. http://tfl.nu/08fq
  Replies (2) Good night (757) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.

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  (718): I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year. http://tfl.nu/i7yv
  Replies (6) Good night (483) Bad night (290)

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