Texts From Last Night

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  (613): View more from Ontario

  the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek

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  (613): the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek http://tfl.nu/bytn
  Replies (5) Good night (1004) Bad night (3684)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England

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  (303): Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England http://tfl.nu/wgnu
  Replies (63) Good night (17136) Bad night (1314)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page

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  (513): some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page http://tfl.nu/1sgh
  Replies (37) Good night (1135) Bad night (4285)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?

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  (509): my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right? http://tfl.nu/pq1k
  Replies (8) Good night (4206) Bad night (837)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.

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  (630): I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong. http://tfl.nu/nqbt
  Replies (19) Good night (3959) Bad night (1538)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..

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  (412): Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends.. http://tfl.nu/z85j
  Replies (9) Good night (5243) Bad night (1553)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.

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  (270): Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy. http://tfl.nu/4et1
  Replies (11) Good night (1053) Bad night (3640)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?

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  (262): Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU? http://tfl.nu/jzba
  Replies (5) Good night (2521) Bad night (845)
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  (845): View more from New York

  She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.

  (1-845): View more from New York

  she is way to in-touch with her childhood

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  (845): She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside. (1-845): she is way to in-touch with her childhood http://tfl.nu/m5xk
  Replies (11) Good night (2375) Bad night (1248)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.

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  (770): Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay. http://tfl.nu/tpqf
  Replies (25) Good night (6232) Bad night (956)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER

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  (260): DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER http://tfl.nu/2v94
  Replies (6) Good night (795) Bad night (1551)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on

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  (616): Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on http://tfl.nu/6qf1
  Replies (2) Good night (1125) Bad night (580)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car

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  (703): To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car http://tfl.nu/yj9e
  Replies (0) Good night (339) Bad night (531)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.

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  (207): well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies. http://tfl.nu/nh48
  Replies (1) Good night (717) Bad night (345)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.

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  (240): I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage. http://tfl.nu/qrpt
  Replies (0) Good night (581) Bad night (456)

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