The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
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You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
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Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good