dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."