Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.