Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?

(1-805): View more from California

Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit

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(805): I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!? (1-805): Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit http://tfl.nu/hqm2

Replies (23) Good night (494) Bad night (2183)
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(214): View more from Texas

Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.

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(214): Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse. http://tfl.nu/4gmt

Replies (35) Good night (10133) Bad night (3180)
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(708): View more from Illinois

sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed

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(708): sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed http://tfl.nu/38z7

Replies (25) Good night (10667) Bad night (1344)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.

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(901): I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko. http://tfl.nu/cca0

Replies (8) Good night (2941) Bad night (981)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

What's the big deal? you guys fuck

(1-870): View more from Arkansas

3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times

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(870): What's the big deal? you guys fuck (1-870): 3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times http://tfl.nu/e13u

Replies (21) Good night (2853) Bad night (1607)
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(+06): View more from

We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.

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(+06): We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away. http://tfl.nu/dvn1

Replies (13) Good night (6368) Bad night (994)
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(815): View more from Illinois

my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves

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(815): my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves http://tfl.nu/kwdc

Replies (28) Good night (5160) Bad night (989)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.

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(330): I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show. http://tfl.nu/dej0

Replies (5) Good night (2302) Bad night (859)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.

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(720): I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom. http://tfl.nu/lin9

Replies (4) Good night (486) Bad night (1666)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other

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(703): Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other http://tfl.nu/yr17

Replies (1) Good night (1328) Bad night (441)
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(903): View more from Texas

I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.

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(903): I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night. http://tfl.nu/xgeq

Replies (13) Good night (959) Bad night (754)
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(248): View more from Michigan

My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus

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(248): My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus http://tfl.nu/w26d

Replies (1) Good night (494) Bad night (858)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?

(423): View more from Tennessee

I was emotionally compromised.

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(615): Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really? (423): I was emotionally compromised. http://tfl.nu/irpq

Replies (1) Good night (682) Bad night (363)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night

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(256): Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night http://tfl.nu/my14

Replies (1) Good night (250) Bad night (562)
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(661): View more from California

He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.

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(661): He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now. http://tfl.nu/04nu

Replies (4) Good night (311) Bad night (743)

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