was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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