Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Can you bring me the toilet please
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
