idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
