There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
