Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
